Change of heart

Some of you (or most) that know me, when you read this you'll probably think "wow, I wonder what made this happen!" haha and you will also think its a wonderful thing. I honestly wish I knew what made me have this change of heart but something inside me snapped, so I decided to make a couple changes in my life.

Some of my values have been pretty out of wack, so this is what I've decided:

1-I will not marry until after I have a good paying, steady job going for me and I've dated the person for at least a year or more.
2-I am not gonna be so easily taken advantage of anymore.
3-The only voice I will listen to is my own, although its not a bad thing to get other opinions, but in the end I will decide whats right or wrong for myself.
4-I'm not gonna be so nice anymore. Yes, I will still be nice but on certain things I wont cuz I've been hurt too many times in the past because of it.
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5-I will not have a child until I am completely ready. That means both financially stable and headed in the right direction.


Those are things I've promised myself and I will NOT break them no matter what! I've been walked on one too many times, so I feel its time for some change in my life. I definitely feel I'll be more happier this way.
One thing that did make me have this change of heart is boys....ah yes! Gotta love boys. Haha. But some of the boys that have been in my life havent been the greatest people. I get boys I dont even know asking for a "sexy" picture and when I tell them no they will sit there and beg and beg til I finally cave in and even if I dont cave in they'll stop talking to me....is bullcrap! Well no more.
Number two, a couple of my ex's tried to get back with me, they begged, poured their hearts out, even tried asking me out again....but again....I said no. And yes, they got mad but I dont care! I dont like them anymore and they just need to realize that. So from this day forward....I am gonna be careful of the guys I date or even be friends with. I'm done attracting the idiots! Haha.
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From this day forward....I'm gonna be me. Take it or leave it.
:]

Oh-Mee-Gee :)

I am soooo....exciteddd!!!!


After a frikin year and a half worth of trying....its finally happening!! I get to move back to the one place where I actually felt I belonged. Up here....I have like no friends.....yeah I have a fiance and I love him to death but down in Beaver Dam....everyone knew everyone and I had a lot more friends that actually talked and hung out with me then I ever did up here!


So I actually mean it when I say that I CANNOT WAIT to move back!!!! :D:D My dad already told me to start going through my things, figuring out what I wanna take and what needs to be thrown away because the house should be closed within the next two weeks. Woo!!

:):):):):):):):):):)<-----as you can see...I am very happy!! lol.

WoOt WoOt!!!

I get to finally see my BEST friend more than I got to when I lived up here. It was ridiculous. I went insane! Haha. But now I don't have to anymore :) Yaaaaaayyyyyy!!!!


The end :)

People these days...

What the hell is wrong with people these days????!!!! Who has a right in this world to destroy someone else's valuable property?! I think NO ONE!!! I am so frikin frustrated right now....


I would NEVER in my life do what my ex did to me!! I gave all his shit back and what did he do to my stuff??? Threw it all away like it was nothing at all. And in that pile of stuff was my LAST picture with my papa before he died!!! I wanted to frikin go over to his house and kill him! What gave him the right to do that???? Uggggghhhhh!!!



People these days....

Seriously People!

I really think people need to learn to think before they speak. I will admit that I am a very sensitive person and saying the littlest thing to me will hurt. I can't help it. That's who I am....I'm sorry if you don't like it.


But c'mon people.....seriously!! Calling people names and yelling at them when you have no reason to is just unacceptable and rude! But hey.....your not doing anything wrong right??? WRONG!!!! You're hurting the person you use to care about most......stupid asshole! Ugh. I swear to god....one of these days I'm gonna blow up in his god damn face and he's gonna regret he ever opened his fucking mouth to me!!!! And I make that a promise!


He may not realize it but what he says hurts me.....but he doesnt care right??? He's not doing anything wrong. Its my fault. Its always my fault. No matter what I do....he always finds a way to shove it right back in my face. He turns EVERYTHING around and says its my fault. Thats why I always say sorry to people now because he made it to where I always think everything is my fault. Thanks!!! Eeeerrrr!!! I wish you would just LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!! I never wanna talk to you again if you're gonna keep acting like a little 5 year old!!!!


Thats all I gotta say.
Bye.

You are simply....AMAZING!!!!

Oh my goodness!! I dont know what to say.....I guess I could start by saying that you are just SO amazing!!! You treat me SO well and I just love it!!! You don't push me to do anything I dont want to do and I think that's the BEST thing in the world!!!!

It may be a little early to tell but what the heck!!.....you're the one I wanna be with. If everyone I knew....knew you....they would probably be thinking the same exact thing I am!! You.....wow!!.....just take my breath away. Every single day I fall more and more in love with you. I love hugging you cuz I never wanna let go, I get butterflies every single time I'm around you, I love holding your hand cuz....again.....I never wanna let go. And kissing you.....omg!!....I love kissing you cuz my heart just drops every time we do!! And I miss you SO much every time we're apart!!!...


I can promise you....right here, right now.....that I NEVER am gonna leave you!!! I wanna stay with you forever!!! You mean a lot to me and I don't wanna lose you. Call me crazy but......I LOVE YOU BABEH!!!! And I never hope to be without you :):):):)

Starstruckk!!

I dont know what it is about you but you just seem to make me smile no matter what mood I'm in.

You text me saying "good morning" every single day and thats something I look forward to the most.

I miss you when your gone.

You are so sweet :)

You take me for me and that is something I LOVE!

I can honestly say that I'm starting to fall pretty fast for you.

You've captured my heart and I dont know how.

I wish I could call you my own.

Age doesn't matter :)

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One day I hope to hear that question that will just make my heart drop!

"Will you be my girlfriend??"

:D

You are just simply amazing to me!

I guess you can say that I'm starstruckk for you!!

:D

Hospital Haters

I am a big time hospital hater....you wanna know why??? There are two reasons:

One-because I had to deal with hospitals most my life
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Two-because my mom is now stuck there because nobody knows what they hell they're doing anymore!!


Ugh. Seriously! I am gonna dis on Mesa View for a minute because....honestly....why be a hospital if you cant fix people??? Seriously!! They had to move my mom from there to the hospital up here in St. George because supposedly they didnt have the equipment to do what she needed to have done. How pathetic is that?!?! Omg!


So anyways....I seriously wish I could be in my mom's place right now. The poor woman has been through hell and back this past week and a half. I feel so bad for her. I wish I could just snap my fingers and it would all go away in an instant....but we all know thats not how life works...


I'm just hoping they find the problem soon and FIX IT!! Because if they have to move her to another hospital...AGAIN! I'm gonna scream. She doesn't deserve to be put through all this. I HATE seeing my mom like this....breaks my heart. Which is why I just wish I could take her place. Even though I'm pretty sure that once I was in her shoes...I'd want out but still... You know what I mean. Haha.



Point is......I HATE HOSPITALS!!!


-The End-

I Believe In Miracles

Most of you probably don't know that a few months ago my step-mom was diagnosed with a type of cancer that is very rare and very strong. The doctor pretty much told her that she didn't have long to live. Boy did that hit home very hard!! I don't think I've ever cried so hard and so much in my life. I mean my step-mom is like my mom. She's been a part of my life since I was like seven years old. So I definitely consider her a mom.



After finding out she had cancer.....she pretty much started on a vegetarian diet. I mean she still eats meat and all that but its mostly just vegatables and organic food. Well, about a month or two ago....she had a follow-up appointment at the Huntsman Cancer Center in Salt Lake City. I dont think I have ever been more happier then the day my dad said "the cancer is gone." I have no idea how it happened but something is working. Yes, her cancer is pretty much gone for the most part. I mean it could always return but for right now....the doctor's cant see anything.





Oh my gosh! That definitely opened my eyes and I really do believe in miracles. And I now truely believe that the lord does work in mysterious ways. I would like to thank him for saving my mother (step-mom). She means the world to my dad and I and nothing would ever be the same if we lost her. So thank you VERY much from the bottom of my heart!!! :):):)

I feel pretty goooodddd!!

I have no clue why, but right now, I am in a very good mood!! Haha. Which is weird, I just feel so good right now. Like nothing can bring me down. Hmmm.....could it be because I am changing my attitude??? Maybe. I know I may not be perfect but I am me....what more could anyone ask for??? I mean, I just can't be someone I'm not. That's just not right. Now, you might be saying to yourself "well, she says she's changing her attitude so thats being someone your not." Well I'm here to tell you that, that's not true. I am CHOOSING to change my attitude, not being forced by someone else. There is a difference.

I am changing my attitude because I will admit that I get mad at the tiniest things! And I am really sick and tired of it to be honest. The only thing it does is make the situation worse and hurt the people I care about most. So from now on, I am not going to get mad at the littlest things. Instead, I am just going to be happy for them and say "have fun!" Because thats what you should do. That's what everyone should do!! But we know that's never going to happen. Only about half of this world is positive and never negative and boy do I envy those people! Which is why I should appreciate things more, instead of being negative and mad all the time!


I just wanna thank a certain someone for finally making me see what I was doing and I am sorry it took me THIS frikin long to figure it out!! As long as you bare with me and help me through it, then I know I will make it :]


THANK YOU!!!
:D

Parenting

C'mon guys seriously! If you're gonna choose to be a parent....then be one!! Don't just yell at your kids for every little thing they do wrong. Talk to them calm and gently. I mean how hard is it to just talk to them??? Instead of frikin yelling at them!!

I say this because yesterday while I was at work this one lady's daughter goes off by herself, I mean the girl is still in plain sight of her mom and her mom goes to where's she's at and yells at her! Oh my heck! This lady was frikin on one I swear. First off: why yell at your child in the middle of a restaraunt? and Two: why take it out on your husband who is just calmly trying to pay for all your food?.....C'mon people. Have a little more respect when your out in public.

That's all I gotta say.

College

For those of you who are still in High school and not graduated yet. Don't take it for granted. High school may be filled with homework and drama but its not half bad. And you'll definitely figure that out once you start college. Just like I did. Before college even started I was SO scared!! I still am. I think I'm stressing out more than ever now because I'm worrying about how I'm gonna do, if I'm gonna pass and what not. After just being there a few days, I've already had a few headaches....and the hardest work hasn't even come yet!!


I just hope I can survive and get through the next few months. Every once in a while I'll start thinking and wonder if this is really for me. I mean I struggle in some areas and so that's what makes me worry as to whether or not I'm gonna pass. Ugh. I am going to cross my fingers though and pray that I make it through cuz that's really my only option right now.

All I can do is wait and see what happens...